Bombay/Mumbai – what do you call it?

Image from here

Mumbai, India’s commercial capital (debatable now, but I like the ephithet), the city that never sleeps. I found this in my previous blog and thought this was a beautiful tribute to my hometown. This was actually circulated to me by email eons ago and I am not the original author. I do not know who that is, so can’t give credit where it’s due. If you do know the author, please do let me know and I’ll give credit.

Gateway of India

Image courtesy from this site
Bambai meri jaan….

  • A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible.
  • Where lovers first love and then marry, Where there is place for every Tom, Dick and Harry
  • Where telephone bills make a person ill, Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
  • Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen, Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
  • Where college canteens are full and classes empty, Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,
  • Where a cycle reaches faster than a car, Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
  • Where sky scrapers overlook the slum, Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,
  • Where people first act and then think, Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
  • Where the roads see-saw in monsoon, Where the beggars become rich soon,
  • Where the roads are levelled when the minister arrives,
  • Where college admission means hard cash, Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.
  • This is Mumbai my dear, But don’t fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

The iconic Marine Drive or Queens Necklace

Picture from here

23 Things that prove you are a Bombayaite 

  1. You say “town ” and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
  2. You speak in a dialect of Hindi called ‘Bambaiya Hindi’, which only Bombayites can understand.*
  3. Your door has more than three locks.
  4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
  5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
  6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
  7. You call an 8′ x 10′ clustered room a Hall.
  8. You’re paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it’s a “steal.”
  9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
  10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar  Road, Altamount Road
  11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
  12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the “Bombay Times” supplement.
  13. You take fashion seriously.
  14. You’re suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
  15. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
  16. You compare Bombay to New York’s Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
  17. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
  18. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
  19. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
  20. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
  21. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
  22. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ”romantic’.
  23. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.

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